Deployment. It really is an ugly word. I would like to run and hide from it. Unfortunately, it's knocking on my door, and I can avoid it no longer. Tomorrow I will say 'see you later' (never goodbye!) to my husband, as this word takes him far from me for a time. From the very beginning, I knew this day would come. We have been given quite a reprieve of it, until now. As newlyweds, we have been able to experience all of the firsts together; first Christmas, birthdays, anniversary, and what a gift that has been. Now I must relinquish him to a higher cause, and try to keep my chin up and my perspective positive. What a feat. I have been so incredibly blessed with the support system around me; other military wives, my friends, my family. They are all my backbone right now, and I am so so grateful I can lean on them right now, knowing I am surrounded by so many people who love me and want to take care of me. I couldn't do it alone. Maybe it's appropriate that on this last day I woke up so early in the morning, for I think that is the best time for thinking, and plenty of time for arming myself for the day with strength and positivity.
I don't want to go through these next several months. This lifestyle is extremely difficult, and sometimes I wish I could run from it. I do hope that by the end of it, I will be a better person. A better friend, a better daughter, a better wife. I know there are many positives to come out of this, if I choose them. I hope I do.